Hannastacias Audio Autopsy december 2005

Satt och kollade igenom gamla recensioner och prylar på Global Domination (ni vet sidan jag och Kentha (Lord K) byggde 2004 som nu gått och blitt den mest uppdaterade metalsajten there is (jag är ju dock inte alls inblandad längre) och hittade en gammal Audio Autopsy från december 2005. Tror det var det första jag skrev för sidan. Skrattar så jag tjuter och var ju bara tvungen att dela med mig av galenskapen.

Non Human Level: Non human level

 Hannastacia: This is nothing to me but pure torture. These lads have more guitar solos than riffs, which makes less than 25 % of the album even worth listening to. Apart from the solo parts it’s not all shite, but it’d be too much cut and paste for me to ever put this one on again. 4

Terror 2000: Terror for sale

 Hannastacia: These guys are comedians. A little bit too much at times, though. This is like having drunk sex. It’s fun – for a whole 5 minutes – and then it just keeps going and going. Does it ever end? 5

Face Down: The will to power

 Hannastacia: Nope. The vocals destroy it all for me. Too bad. I’m sure the music is good and well played and all, but if it is, I can’t hear it through those awful screams. 4

Callenish Circle: Pitch black effect

 Hannastacia: I can’t really decide what to think of this. Guitar sound’s killer and they’ve accomplished some very catchy harmonies, but the singer at times sound like Mortiis looks, if that makes any sense to ya’ll. Anyway, it’s not a good thing. But then again, when he growls, he does it very well. If I would ever buy an album again, I might just consider this one. 6

Rammstein: Rosenrot

Hannastacia: I’m disappointed. Not that I’ve never listened to a whole Rammstein album before, but I was convinced they were better and more fun than this. This is BORING. Not even the German makes it interesting or fun, and believe me, I always laughed at the German fucking “isch” language. 4

Municipal Waste: Hazardous mutation

 Hannastacia: This is pure fucking party music. Love it. I’ll definitely keep this album and use it as a cheer-up at times when life feels like shit. Makes me feel young and drunk (maybe the last part has something to do with the beers I’ve had). If this doesn’t cheer you up, it’s time to go to that very dark place in the closet and take a closer look at your daddy’s gun. 9

Trauma: DetermiNation

 Hannastacia: A band from Poland and a singer named Piotr (lovely name) are what it takes to make this day a good one. That man knows how to use his tongue. I dig this. A lot. 8

1349: Hellfire

 Hannastacia: Speed boost (played a lot of SSX lately). Very fast – a little too fast for me at times. My guess is if you’re into black metal you’ll really dig this one. Music-wise I’m impressed, but the vocals could be better for sure. 5

Toxic Holocaust: Hell on earth

 Hannastacia: Ok, background music. Nothing more. I just listened through the whole album without even noticing the change of tunes. The vocals are totally destroyed by distortion. Music’s fine, but I can’t find anything the least bit special about it. 4

Rumpelstiltskin Grinder: Buried in the front yard

 Hannastacia: These guys were smart enough to pick a name that would ensure that they’d be remembered whether their music was liked or not. Sounds like the whole band are constipated and are locked together in the bathroom trying get the shit out. 5

Mörk Gryning: Mörk gryning

 Hannastacia: Name sucks. Sucks too much to even be funny. I’m sure they have a story behind that name and I’m sure it’s well known, but I’ve never heard it and I don’t really care either. Anyway, I like this album (track # 1 not included) – surprised? Well, I am. Didn’t like it at all on first spin, but when spinning it again, I realize the tracks stuck somehow and I changed my mind. Damn, am I turning into a black metal chick? 7

Thyrfing: Farsotstider

Hannastacia: Vocals sound like a streptococcus infection mixed with too much whiskey. Don’t like. Not too fond of the songs either. Sure there are one or two songs I might listen to and enjoy on heavy drugs, but… nah. And no matter what band or music, lyrics should not, under any circumstances be in Swedish. 2

Severe Torture: Fall of the despised

 Hannastacia: Some death metal bands think the vocals should be as low as possible to be killer. I beg to differ. This sounds like a grizzly bear on acid. Makes me lose all interest in the music, which if you actually listen really hard, have some vibes to it – but they all disappear behind the constant roar. Listen to Poitr and learn. 4

 

 

Akercocke: Words that go unspoken, deeds that go undone

Hannastacia: By far the worst thing I’ve heard since Darzamat met their fucking tree. Damn, this is crap, crap, crap. When you have to turn an album off and listen to something else between every song, just to not lose hope in music forever, it’s bad. Later. Much, much later… Being the nice girl that I am, I just had to give it another chance – WHY I ask myself, this is just pain to the being that is me. 1



 Lord Belial: Nocturnal beast

Hannastacia: The Norgayians doing the trolls in the dark woods again, except they’re not from Norgay – well, I don’t care. I have a hard time taking this kind of music seriously, and maybe I shouldn’t. 4