Cocktails and dreams

Tänk vad smaken kan förändras. Då... 1989, var Cocktail den bästa filmen som gjorts och Tom Cruise den snyggaste som fanns. I hemlighet förstod jag aldrig riktigt hur alla kunde tycka han var så ursnygg, men jag höll med för man skulle ju tycka det. Att filmen var bra tyckte jag dock. Bäst!

Nu råkade jag fastna i den i går eftersom det inte va så mycket annat att se och det är ju nästan pinsamt. Skämdes hela filmen igenom över hur dålig den var.

Hittade denna roliga recension på IMDb av en kille som såg filmen för första gången i år, dvs 20 år 20 år senare.

Can you get any more Eighties than this movie? Personally, I doubt it - the minute the first blast of synthesiser music strikes you as the bright neon logos fly past should tell you everything you need to know about this rancid nostalgia trip through the very worst that decade had to offer, a time when greed was good and only the weak had feelings. And even though this is much more manly than "Coyote Ugly", I prefer that predictable drivel to this.

Tom Cruise, by this time able to pick and choose his roles at will, finds himself playing Brian Flanagan, a self-obsessed wannabe returning to New York with the aim of finding his millions. After being turned down by every office job going, he stumbles across a poky bar run by the enigmatic Doug Coughlin (Bryan Brown) and he starts tending bar there. Quickly picking up on his master's flair for making cocktails, Brian deserts his mentor and begins again in Jamiaca when he falls in love with the beautiful Jordan (Elizabeth Shue). Can Brian learn to overcome his desire for money in order to love Jordan and what will Doug do once he tracks Brian down?

Playing the sort of role Colin Farrell would be considered for today, Cruise feels kinda miscast as the heart-breaking, swaggering, bottle-juggling Lothario although I have to give him and Brown credit for the bar-tending scenes - not only are they the most entertaining in the movie but they don't rely on those damn swooshing noises they employed in "Coyote Ugly". Sadly, this film's plot is just as one-dimensional as its predecessor, offering little respite from Cruise's irritating macho-egotist (why do these women keep sleeping with him? His Bloody Mary's can't be THAT good!). Brown, spouting almost Yoda-like levels of world weary advice, might have been an interesting character and I reckon his story would be been better told instead of Flanagan's. And although the role calls for little more than to flutter her eyes at Mr Cruise, Shue does OK as the poor sap taken in by him. If only the film wasn't so predictable - the sheer inevitableness of the story, ticking every box in the "redemption of bad man" cliché guide, means it never makes you focus on what's being said because chances are, you can guess. At one point, I ending up cutting my toe-nails (partially through boredom) and when I'd finished, I could still follow the film as if nothing had happened!


Part of me wanted to like this film, having been a barman myself many years ago. But I just can't - it's about as interesting as a glass of tap water and not nearly satisfying enough. I was praying for Cruise to get his comeuppance, to learn the error of his ways but when the story started to bend to his will then I'd simply had enough. What should have happened was for Cruise to learn from his mistakes and move on - what we got was a happy ending for all that even the characters themselves seemed to disbelieve. Even this film's soundtrack can't compete with "Coyote Ugly" (although music plays a bigger part in that film) and while it's just as predictable and one-dimensional as "Cocktail", I prefer the female-friendly rom-com to this any day. Disappointing, to say the least. Next time, just order a beer...
Author: Mr Ben from Hampshire, England